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Thursday, January 21, 2010
I Can Smell It In The Air
Ah yes, the smell of a brand new baseball season is wafting by. I always look forward to the start of a new season, but this year, I'm getting a really good feeling that my Washington Nationals are going to be a vastly improved team, and that's making the start of this season seem like Christmas for me. The MLB Network has been my saving grace lately. I mean, I feel like an addict detoxing when there is no baseball on, so I wish I could shake the hand of whoever decided to make a 24/7/365 all baseball channel. Life is definitely good!
Tuesday, January 12, 2010
A Fallen Hero? No, Not This Time.
Mark McGwire, I know you will never read this but this is something I need to write anyway. I've followed your career since I was 10 years old. I was there for the good years and for the bad as well. Yesterday you confirmed something that pretty much everyone already knew, and well, I just see this as one of those bad times. I don't look down upon you, and in fact, I admire you even more now. You showed a great deal of courage to admit your shortcomings and I wish our politicians would follow your example. To me, you're still the greatest slugger of all time, and nothing will ever change my opinion. We've all made our mistakes and you're no different. It's amazing how we're so forgiving of some things in this world, and others, people are ready to crucify. At any rate, Mark, you always have, and always will be my hero. Hang in there bud! I still smile when I read old fan club newsletters, and the baseball card you signed for me at Memorial Stadium in 1989 is my most prized possession. The ink you left on that card was more than just an autograph; it also left an indelible mark on a 12 year old kid. I'll never forget that. Thanks for the memories, Mark, and good luck with the coaching job. Baseball NEEDS more people like you!
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Sunday, January 10, 2010
Here Fido, Heeeeeeeeeeeeeere Fido...
I'd like to take a moment to talk to all of the people who have dogs as pets. I could probably sum this up in one sentence: I HATE YOUR DOG! Look, when engaged in a conversation with a dog-owner about letting their animals crap wherever they want, every single person claims "Oh, not me. I always pick up after my dog."
Ok people, SOMEONE is not being totally honest here because today I stepped in a pile of dog crap in my yard. Keep in mind that I don't have a dog, and I'm pretty sure that I didn't take a dump in my own yard. I've got two working toilets and a pretty good sense of modesty. Honestly people, I don't come over to your yard and crap in it, so I don't expect my yard to have your dog's crap in it.
I do understand that it's hard for some of you to bend over and clean up the mess and that it isn't pleasant to do so, but this is something you should have thought about before getting a dog. I also don't care if it is cold outside and you're in a hurry to get back inside. Do you think I want to step in a steaming pile of YOUR DOG'S CRAP?????? I'm warning you, if I happen to be looking outside and I see you walking your dog, you'd better clean up after it if you let it use my property as a toilet. If you don't, I will pick up that pile of crap and bring it to you. Oh, and since you will undoubtedly claim that it isn't yours, rest assured, I will have my camera at my side and ready to take pictures of your dog in action...with you on the other end of the leash. Why would I do this? Because, like I said before, it's never YOUR dog. We'll see about that.
And one last thing. Being someone who doesn't own a dog, I am SICK TO DEATH of having to hear YOUR dog bark for hours on end at all hours of the night. Maybe you think it's cute, but I don't. Shut your stupid mutts up, PLEASE! Do you really think I like listening to your barking dog at 3:00 AM??? I don't crank my music up loud at night, so perhaps you might show me the same level of respect. Yes, I understand it's an animal and supposedly you can't control their barking. Give me a break. You're telling me you can train it to do everything else in the world EXCEPT when to shut it's trap? Come on, people! My next door neighbor has a dog and I NEVER hear it. Yet someone down the road has a dog and I hear it ALL THE BLOODY TIME. It NEVER shuts up.
ARHGHGHGHGHGHGHGH!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ok people, SOMEONE is not being totally honest here because today I stepped in a pile of dog crap in my yard. Keep in mind that I don't have a dog, and I'm pretty sure that I didn't take a dump in my own yard. I've got two working toilets and a pretty good sense of modesty. Honestly people, I don't come over to your yard and crap in it, so I don't expect my yard to have your dog's crap in it.
I do understand that it's hard for some of you to bend over and clean up the mess and that it isn't pleasant to do so, but this is something you should have thought about before getting a dog. I also don't care if it is cold outside and you're in a hurry to get back inside. Do you think I want to step in a steaming pile of YOUR DOG'S CRAP?????? I'm warning you, if I happen to be looking outside and I see you walking your dog, you'd better clean up after it if you let it use my property as a toilet. If you don't, I will pick up that pile of crap and bring it to you. Oh, and since you will undoubtedly claim that it isn't yours, rest assured, I will have my camera at my side and ready to take pictures of your dog in action...with you on the other end of the leash. Why would I do this? Because, like I said before, it's never YOUR dog. We'll see about that.
And one last thing. Being someone who doesn't own a dog, I am SICK TO DEATH of having to hear YOUR dog bark for hours on end at all hours of the night. Maybe you think it's cute, but I don't. Shut your stupid mutts up, PLEASE! Do you really think I like listening to your barking dog at 3:00 AM??? I don't crank my music up loud at night, so perhaps you might show me the same level of respect. Yes, I understand it's an animal and supposedly you can't control their barking. Give me a break. You're telling me you can train it to do everything else in the world EXCEPT when to shut it's trap? Come on, people! My next door neighbor has a dog and I NEVER hear it. Yet someone down the road has a dog and I hear it ALL THE BLOODY TIME. It NEVER shuts up.
ARHGHGHGHGHGHGHGH!!!!!!!!!!!!
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Wednesday, January 6, 2010
Poor Michelle! Boo Hoo Hoo!
So the Obama family is upset that PETA used Michelle's likeness in an advertisement without getting her permission. Hold on, let me get a tissue so I can wipe away the tears. Poor Michelle! What a horrible thing to have happen to her. Well, maybe someone should let her know that I object to her husband using my tax dollars without my permission. Hey, federal government, how about actually serving the people for once? Technically, you work for us. Start acting like it. If I wanted to live in a damn socialist country I'd move to a socialist country.
Isn't it funny how every one of Obama's speeches is chopped up into 3 word fragments? Is he incapable of speaking normally? My bet is...that Obama thinks...most of us...are not capable...of understanding him...unless he speaks...in sentence fragments. Either that or he's just trying to make things easier in terms of getting soundbites.
This joke of a president makes me long for the days of Bill Clinton! Hahaha! I couldn't stand that philanderer, but I'll take him over this antichrist any day of the week. At least I know I have the satisfaction that I didn't vote for Obama. And to those of you who think I'm just some hardline nutjob, I didn't vote for John McCain either. I abstained from voting because there was no point. I didn't (and still don't) like McCain. What a pity that we got stuck with the fraud in the Whitehouse now.
Isn't it funny how every one of Obama's speeches is chopped up into 3 word fragments? Is he incapable of speaking normally? My bet is...that Obama thinks...most of us...are not capable...of understanding him...unless he speaks...in sentence fragments. Either that or he's just trying to make things easier in terms of getting soundbites.
This joke of a president makes me long for the days of Bill Clinton! Hahaha! I couldn't stand that philanderer, but I'll take him over this antichrist any day of the week. At least I know I have the satisfaction that I didn't vote for Obama. And to those of you who think I'm just some hardline nutjob, I didn't vote for John McCain either. I abstained from voting because there was no point. I didn't (and still don't) like McCain. What a pity that we got stuck with the fraud in the Whitehouse now.
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Tuesday, January 5, 2010
Sodom & Gomorrah, A.D.
At the moment, I'm listening to all of my faucets running slowly. Alabama isn't used to these freezing
temperatures, so no one is really sure how plumbing is going to react. Better safe than sorry.
This makes me wonder about global warming, or should I say "climate change" since that seems to be the new term for it. Why is that the new term? Ha ha! Obviously it's so the people who support this theory have a way to cover their arses and defend their "science" no matter which way the mercury travels. Are we really that vain as a population that we think we can have such a huge impact on the planet? Of course we are!
I find it highly amusing that so many of the celebrities, politicians, and otherwise who traveled to Copenhagen for the climate change conference did so on their own private jets. You bloody hypocrites. I am so sick of celebrities telling people what they should do!!! Note to actors: You spend your entire lives pretending to be someone else, and for some reason, we worship you for this. I have more respect for garbage collectors than I do for you, actors. They actually do a REAL job. Actors, you do nothing but regurgitate something somebody else wrote. Help me out here. How does this qualify YOU to tell anyone else how to live their lives? You self-righteous fools.
Musicians, YOU are just as bad. Listen up! All I want is music, not your idea about how the world should be run. Does anyone REALLY believe that Sheryl Crow only uses one square of toilet paper to wipe her arse? Look, if I wipe my arse with one square, I'm going to be doing a lot more laundry which is a waste of precious energy, and, not to mention, using a lot more toxic bleach. I could go on about
musicians, but I don't want to ruin the good mood I happen to be in
right now.
This is why I tend to listen to music that is apolitical. I once liked Bruce Springsteen. Then when his career needed a boost (he's still pining for the success of the 80's...sorry Bruce, your time has come and gone) he decided to hop on the anti-American bandwagon. Pretty much the same thing as when actors and musicians come out of the closet and suddenly their popularity soars. What a sad, sad commentary on our society. Maybe the so called "global warming" is nothing more than the flames of hell being fanned.
Welcome to Sodom and Gomorrah, 21st Century style.
temperatures, so no one is really sure how plumbing is going to react. Better safe than sorry.
This makes me wonder about global warming, or should I say "climate change" since that seems to be the new term for it. Why is that the new term? Ha ha! Obviously it's so the people who support this theory have a way to cover their arses and defend their "science" no matter which way the mercury travels. Are we really that vain as a population that we think we can have such a huge impact on the planet? Of course we are!
I find it highly amusing that so many of the celebrities, politicians, and otherwise who traveled to Copenhagen for the climate change conference did so on their own private jets. You bloody hypocrites. I am so sick of celebrities telling people what they should do!!! Note to actors: You spend your entire lives pretending to be someone else, and for some reason, we worship you for this. I have more respect for garbage collectors than I do for you, actors. They actually do a REAL job. Actors, you do nothing but regurgitate something somebody else wrote. Help me out here. How does this qualify YOU to tell anyone else how to live their lives? You self-righteous fools.
Musicians, YOU are just as bad. Listen up! All I want is music, not your idea about how the world should be run. Does anyone REALLY believe that Sheryl Crow only uses one square of toilet paper to wipe her arse? Look, if I wipe my arse with one square, I'm going to be doing a lot more laundry which is a waste of precious energy, and, not to mention, using a lot more toxic bleach. I could go on about
musicians, but I don't want to ruin the good mood I happen to be in
right now.
This is why I tend to listen to music that is apolitical. I once liked Bruce Springsteen. Then when his career needed a boost (he's still pining for the success of the 80's...sorry Bruce, your time has come and gone) he decided to hop on the anti-American bandwagon. Pretty much the same thing as when actors and musicians come out of the closet and suddenly their popularity soars. What a sad, sad commentary on our society. Maybe the so called "global warming" is nothing more than the flames of hell being fanned.
Welcome to Sodom and Gomorrah, 21st Century style.
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